Grandma's Boyfriend ... sent by Tara/Margarita
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feelgood andthe comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as myboyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated,she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' herboyfriend."
The minister fainted.
11 rules of MySpace - Agreed!
Date: Mar 21, 2006 12:53 PM
Subject: Amen Sista
Body: 11 rules of myspace
1. If you're ugly, stop acting like you don't know it. The captions under you picture that says "top model pose", "sexy bitch", "arn't I hot", doesn't convince anyone.
2. To the people who have like 25,000 friends, are you serious?Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.You're stupid. Go catch lightning bolts.
3. Don't ever post pictures and say "OMG, I'm so ugly", "OMG, I'm so fat", because if you were, you wouldn't post them.
4. Nobody cares about threats over the internet. Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard. Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.
5. Making 20 bulletins a day about how you have new picturesand begging people to comment on them is pathetic. Make the bulletin once if you have to, and those who actually care about you will comment on your pics.
6. If all your pictures look the same, don't post them all. Please put some variety in your pics. Nobody wants to see your face 8 different ways.
7. Who really gives a rat's ass if I don't accept you as a friend?MOVE ON!!! Don't send me another request or message asking"what's up with you not adding me?" I don't want you as a friend; that's what's up!
8. Stupid 7th graders who have MySpace and look like sluts, go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.
9. If you have decided to read this, you are a true MySpace Friend. Real friends read their bulletins.
10. I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains (if they have them).
11. And if you open a bulletin and then repost it again and it says something like "repost"...well you should just be smacked for your utter un-originality.
A Good friend Vs a True friend!!
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
Send this to 8 of your closest friends on myspace. Remember, a good friend will help you move. A truly good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel!
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feelgood andthe comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as myboyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated,she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' herboyfriend."
The minister fainted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11 rules of MySpace - Agreed!
Date: Mar 21, 2006 12:53 PM
Subject: Amen Sista
Body: 11 rules of myspace
1. If you're ugly, stop acting like you don't know it. The captions under you picture that says "top model pose", "sexy bitch", "arn't I hot", doesn't convince anyone.
2. To the people who have like 25,000 friends, are you serious?Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.You're stupid. Go catch lightning bolts.
3. Don't ever post pictures and say "OMG, I'm so ugly", "OMG, I'm so fat", because if you were, you wouldn't post them.
4. Nobody cares about threats over the internet. Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard. Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.
5. Making 20 bulletins a day about how you have new picturesand begging people to comment on them is pathetic. Make the bulletin once if you have to, and those who actually care about you will comment on your pics.
6. If all your pictures look the same, don't post them all. Please put some variety in your pics. Nobody wants to see your face 8 different ways.
7. Who really gives a rat's ass if I don't accept you as a friend?MOVE ON!!! Don't send me another request or message asking"what's up with you not adding me?" I don't want you as a friend; that's what's up!
8. Stupid 7th graders who have MySpace and look like sluts, go somewhere else because nobody wants you here.
9. If you have decided to read this, you are a true MySpace Friend. Real friends read their bulletins.
10. I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains (if they have them).
11. And if you open a bulletin and then repost it again and it says something like "repost"...well you should just be smacked for your utter un-originality.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Good friend Vs a True friend!!
1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
Send this to 8 of your closest friends on myspace. Remember, a good friend will help you move. A truly good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel!
posted by Rev Bren | 3:42 PM
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